Sunday, 25 November 2012

Black Christmas (2006)

Tom:
Black Christmas,2006,USA/Canada
Director: Glen Morgan
Stars: Katie Cassidy, Mary Elizabeth Winstead & Kristen Cloke
                                                                         ''They're my family now.''

The 2006 remake to Bob Clark's seminal Canadian slasher film, 'Black Christmas, which as great as it was, It was more of a cult classic, an underground film that was overlooked in favor of more marketable slasher films such as 'Halloween' and 'Friday the 13th', the film features 16 producers in total, which included those involved with the 'Final Destination' series, maybe this remake was an attempt to bring some well deserved attention the brilliant original, or maybe they just wanted to make some easy cash.

Billy was an un-ordinary child who was abused by his sadistic mother, one Christmas, Billy brutally murdered his mother and proceeded to eat her. In present times, Billy is locked in a mental institution but hes legend continues to haunt the town, Now he has escaped and wants to murder the girls in the sorority house that used to be his former home.

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I love the original 'Black Christmas', the first time I saw it was one of the most eerie and horrifying film experiences I've ever had. I have seen the film many times since and I always enjoy it. I had always heard how bad this film was and never really planned to ever watch it, but I came across it on Youtube so I thought, why not ? that was my first mistake.

This movie is absolute trash! I have never been so disgusted in my life, what a sick, pathetic, lazy miserable excuse for a film. When filmmakers made a modern horror, they seem to think the secret is to include plenty of gore, little do they know that nobody gives a fuck about gore! The beauty of this genre, which I adore so dearly, is when a Horror film can enthrall you through pure tension, atmosphere, plot and characters (see 'The Shining', 'Psycho'), 'Black Christmas' features none of these qualities, instead it relies on jump scares, over the top violence and some of the most unlikeable characters put on film, to try and ''Scare'' its audience, and fails fucking miserably!

The film is complete mind numbing idiocy made by very incapable filmmakers, while watching this film you can really sense the filmmakers misplaced arrogance, I genuinely believe they thought they were creating the scariest film ever made, which makes this even more irritating. They also attempt to make a sentimental statement about family, which turned to be an absolutely laughable. Its so amateurish and embarrassing, it almost made me physically ill to see the art form I love so dearly be bastardized in front of my very eyes.

The entire cast is terrible, even Mary Elizabeth Winstead who I genuinely like is bad, not that shes given much choice. All these characters are horribly snide and ignorant people, we hate them all, even though Glen Morgan tries his best to not make that so.

This film is a complete insult to the original, It takes everything great about that film, such as the ambiguity, the atmosphere, the genuine creepiness, and replaces it with bullshit, what made the original so effective, is that we didn't know who or what Billy was, In remake we get his whole fucking back story, including his liver disease which causes him to have yellow skin, YELLOW SKIN!. It baffles me as to why Bob Clark was involved in this, but then again he did make two 'Super Baby Genius' films.

I really can not do this thing justice, its unbearably bad and equally heartless, truly horrible stuff. This Christmas, do yourself a favor and avoid this thing like the Plague.

1/2*

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